


sasuke commits tax fraud

by Snubberdoodle



Category: Cars (Movies), Dragon Ball, Naruto, The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny - Lemon Demon (Music Video)
Genre: Addiction, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Ball Flicking, Bottomphobia, Come Inflation, Fart Eating, Farting, Foot Fetish, Friends to Lovers, Furry, Inflation, Knotting, M/M, Marriage, Minecraft, Multi, Omorashi, Oral Sex, Oviposition, Pining, Romance, Toe Lactation, Vore, Voyeurism, ass eating, fortnite, toe sucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 02:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17572658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snubberdoodle/pseuds/Snubberdoodle
Summary: alternate title: sasuke is addicted to tax fraud.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> wish i could take 100% credit for this but im not that galaxy brain,,,,, this was done in collaboration with twitter user @hashirawme,,, go give them some love

Naruto walked in the apartment he shared with his roomate, sasuke. He’d been in love with sasuke for as long as he could remember “Hey sasuke whats popping” 

“tch..i fucking hate you” sasuke immediately closed his eyes, a tear running down his cheek as he took a moment to contemplate his actions. _Tch...why did i say that, i LOVE him he thought to himself._

Naruto blushes, sasuke’s never been so kind to him “hey i wrote a new campaign speech for my presidential campaign wanna hear it?” sasuke glares at him over his shoulder “tch..u cant run for president bitch ur ass is too fat” “ungh stop…” “tch. Bitch” “OUGHFHG” naruto shit his pants but delivered his campaign speech regardless. “Dattebayo LOL believe it im gonna be the president of the united states of americus vote for me or i’ll die. Believe it. Like and subscribe.” and then he dabbed.

This moved sasuke to tears, he stood up and saluted, but then quickly sat back down concealing his boneur. Naruto flicked him in the balls. Sasuke looks at him shyly, “Okay do you wanna play fortnite?”  
Naruto rips off his politician suit and reveals his fullbody fishnet suit that he always wears under all of his clothes. “Yeah bitch i want to GAME” he was a little upset that sasuke didnt ask him to play minecraft but for sasuke, he’d do anything. Sasuke opens his laptop and naruto catches a glimpse of what was on his screen. _Taxfraud.com?? sasuke, why….._ But naruto decided he didnt care..he loved sasuke so much because his dick was so huge and fat.  
The fortnite loading screen was on 93% but all of a sudden the door fucking exploded and the IRS stormed in. it was kakshi. He had a gun. “Sasuke your under arrest for tax fraud.” sasuke stood up q1uickly and posed like an ape in an attempt to scare him away. It worked. Naruto grabbed sasukes hand. It was buatifal. “Sasuke, why didnt you tell me you commited tax fraud :( We have to RUN.”

Sasuke climbed onto narutps back (piggy back ride) and they junped out le window. “Yehaw” sasuke whispered. Cockashi fired at them from the window as they fled. Naruto legged it to Nevada so that they would be safe. 

Sasuke jumped off his back and landed gracefully. Naruto turned to him, a tear in his eye. “sasuke..why were you committing tax fraud?” Sasuke blushed and turned his head to the side, “wouldn’t you like to know you dweeb.” Naruto farted. It echoed across the desert. Sasuke inhaled deeply and decided he could tell him.

“It was…….I..” Naruto placed a tender hand on his shoulder. “You can tell me anything brochacho.”

“It was so i would have money to commission art of your fursona, dude.” Naruto felt his heart swell, this guy just earned himself a naruto themed blowjob. “Sasuke…...I had no idea…that’s so epic….can i suck on your peepee.” Sasuke turned to look at him, distrust in his eyes..was he ready for that kind of love?

“Naruto...you deserve better…..im….a tax fraudist.”

“I know,” naruto said, blushing, “im into bad boys” SASUKE bonered. Naruto saw.

Naruto said “LOL,” said naruto. Naruto ripped off sasukes pants. “Pants off no jutsu.” Sasuke now had his whole dick out in the middle of the Arizona desert. It was erect. Naruto slapped his balls. “You like that big boy?” Sasuke had a heart attack, “Yea it was cool.” Naruto slurped down his weirner like a bowl of ramen noodles. Tasty! Sasuke camed. “Naatuo that was so supreme.”

“Thanks sasuke do you want to go get taco bell now?”

“Tch..i guess.” So they went to taco be’ll. Kakashi was there. He was standing in fron of them in line, they started swaeting profusely. Kakashi ordered 3 doritos locos tacos. He was so distraced by the extreme horniness taco bell instills in him that he didnt notice the criminals behind him. Kakashi sat down at a table to enjoy his meal and booner.

“Gee gosh, I sure do love these doitos locos tacos from taco bell, they are the best item on the menu! Way better than that beta-male sasukes favorite item, the chicken quesadilla.” Sasuke sharted and flung it at kakashi, enraged. Kakashi stood up furiously. 

“WHO FLUNG DOODOO AT ME?”

“Oh FUCK” said sasuke. He grabbed naruto’s hand and pulled him into the taco bell bathroom. “Do you think we lost him?” said naruto. “I don’t know lemme check” siad sasuke. Sasuke peeked out of the bathrrom and kakashi was right there. They made eye contact and sasuke peed a little bit. Kakashi said “Stop! you violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence!” Sasuke slapped him and shut the door.

“What is going on lol” questioned naruto. Sasuke looked at him, concern in his eyes. naruto looked so very scared, like he was about to fart really loud.

“Naruto… don’t fart now…. The cops are outside.”

“Sasuke help i cant hold it.” Sasuke paused for a moment, and then spoke. “Maybe there’s a way i can help.

“S-sauke what are you saying?”

“Just wait.” Sasuke pulled down naruto’s pants and lifted naruto’s butt to his face. He sucked the fart out and swallowed it. This made naruto have penus. After that Sasuke once again peeked out the door. Kakashi was not there. Then from around the corner he could hear kakshi’s voice, “hmm...must have been my imagination.”

“Okay i think it’s safe now, lets get out of here” When he spoke it smelled like fart.

“Wait.” naruto grabbed sasukes hand, holding him back, the smell of fart emanating from sasukes mouth turned him on. “Can u suck my weener first?”

“Hyeah sure. I’ll show you why they call me throatzilla.” He put narutoes whole entire cock and balls into the moist cavern that was his mouth. His dick got lost in there and it took them 30 minutes to get it out. In that time naruto busted 5 cums. They were the best of his life.

“Sasuke…. Whared you learn that trick?”

“Tch...as if i’d reveal to you the secret of the uchiha clan so easily..” naruto was in awe. Then they left taco bell, careful not to let cockshi see them. 

“Where do we go now?” asked naruto. They both took a moment to ponder this question. “We never got to order our taco bell.” sasuke pointed out. “Guess we’ll eat sand.” So they high tailed back to the desert and started to chow down. Sasuke slowed down, mouth and hands full of sand. Naruto noticed his beloved sasuke stop stuffing himself with those little rocks. “What’s wrong baby. I see sadness in your eyes.” Sasuke looked up at him. “That me sharingan.” 

They continued their meal until they were satisfied. The desert had no more sand. “Ugnfhhh..sasuke..im so full.”

“That’s what i like to hear” responded sasuke, who was also overflowing with sand. Sasuke slapped naruto’s inflated body with so much force that he expelled the sand from his mouth like a fountain, and then naruto returned the favor. The desert had sand again. They were haopy.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Kakashi was still at the taco bell finishing his 3rd and final doritos locos taco. “I love being so epic” he said to himself. 

“You sure are sonny jim.” said a familiar voice. It was his good buddy guy sensei. He was also an IRS agent. “Damn guy your so thick” observed kakashi. “I wanna smack a baseball off that ass. Hey im hunting criminal scum do you want to come with me? Please.” Kakshi was very lonely. He had arrested all of his other friends. Why did all of his friends have to commit tax related crimes? All of his loved ones..F. Guy understood all of this and agreed to help. Guy grabbed kakashi by the throat and bolted.

“Hhhkljgkjakjghhh” said kakashi. “Silence bottom.” guy said in response.

They reached IRS headquarters and guy relinquished his grip on kakashi’s thrussy. “Give me your credit card number” ordered kakashi. “LOL ok” said guy. They decided that they needed help from the IRS chief of police: Doc Hudson from Disney-Pixar’s Cars (2006).They made their way to his office.

Kakashi knocked. “Vroom vroom” said Doc. They entered. “Doc,please, where is sasuke?” kakashi pleaded. “I will tell you if you can answer this riddle.”

Kakashi and guy nodded resolutely, and prepared to answer their superior’s riddle. He opened his car mouth and spoke thus, “what is my social security number?”

The duo was stumped. But then guy squared his shoulders and answered. “Did you leave it at sawcon?”

“What’s sawcon?” asked doc, puzzled. Kakashi’s eyes twinkled. He knew. “SAWCON THESE NUTS” and then he dabbed. Doc died. The two men saluted. F. But alas, they still did not know the location of sasuke, the tax criminal.

The two men had gotten themselves into a right proper pickel. They had just brutally murdered the one man on planet earth who could possibly know where sasuke is. “What r we gona do now lol?” guy asked kakashi. 

“Let me think about it real hard.” replied kakashi. And then he knew where sasuke was. “He’s in the desert eating sand.”

“Epic.” guy responded. _God I wish that were me_ he thought. The two men bent over, arms splayed out behind them as they began to naruto run towards their destination. As they ran, guy spotted a wendy’s and found himself drawn to it. _Hambunger…._ he thought to himself. “Kakashi...i have to go..” Kakashi nodded and kept running. He understood. Kakashi could see a fountain of sand in the distance. He was close.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Narutoe and sasugay just fninished their upchucking and were laying atop the monument to their sins. All of a sudden, kakashi was there. “Hi guys” he said. “It’s me, goku.” Sasuke was livid. “UR NOT GOKU YOU POSEUR.” Kakashi hung his head, defeated. “I know,” he said sadly. This was’nt good enough for sasuke. He hit kakshi in the knuts 3 times with a wiffle ball bat. Naruto was so proud of him. “oof my fat nuts” kakashi exclaimed. “Tch..i got you, bitch.” He and naruto made thier escape. 

They ran all the way to colorado. “Haha wead lol” said naruto when they arrived. “They dont call it the village hidden in the leafs for nothing.” sasuke said wisely. And then they ran to australia. It took them 5 days (We did the math. The distance from Colorado to Australia is approximately 8,886 miles. Naruto runs at a speed of roughly 70 miles per hour. Assuming he maintains this speed, it will take him a little over five days to reach his destination.) 

“We should break kangaroo jack out of prison.” Naruto proposed eagerly. Sasuke said “no.” Naruto cried. *Cue le epic sad minecraft music*

Naurto and Sasuke bought a house and lived there happily for many a year. The IRS had had no power over them in Australia. So they lived peacefully. It was a quiet life, a life that they could share together. A life where they could be happy, maybe even fall in love. Sasuke got a humble office job to support them both while Naruto continued his presidential campaign. He wholeheartedly believed in his own ability to become the president of Australia and even though Sasuke still believed that his booty ass was too wide, he wanted him to succeed. He wanted to see Naruto happy because he loved him. _‘Tch, as if I’d ever tell him that,’_ he thought with a frown, shifting his laptop to his other knee. He wanted to tell him. Oh sweet Notch did he want to tell him, but he probably never would. Naruto deserved better than him. It was not his wish to burden his close friend with these feelings, for he could never change his ways. Even now, despite having supposedly left his life of crime behind him, he was logging onto taxfraud.com. He thought briefly of Naruto and his hand wavered, but he pushed that shit aside. It was prime crime time once again.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Kakashi was at home taking a fat diaroaea shit. Those doritos locos tacos were so fucking good but them being the only thing he ever ate was starting to take a toll on his body. When he was done shidding he decided that maybe it was time to go get another doritos locos taco. _Just one more..and then i’ll quit_ he thought desperately to himself. But he knew this was a lie. Kakashi went back to taco bell like the disgusting little rat of a man that he was. “4 doritos locos tacos please.” He said to the person working the counter, who was clearly appalled by him. They spit on him. Kakashi started crying.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

“SASUKE WHY” Naruto cried out in agony, bursting into the room. “To measure my abilities.” Sasuke rebuked.

“Sasuke…………………”

“I’m sorry naruto..” sasuke lamented. “I told you that i’m no good.” Naruto sighed, this was a lot to take in. He and Sasuke were happy. Why did he have to go and ruin that, he had been tax fraud sober for years. He was silent for a long while, and then he spoke. “It’s…..it’s me or the tax fraud Sasuke.” Sasuke bit his lip, a tear forming in his eye. This was the hardest decision he would ever have to make.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Sitting on the curb outside the Taco Bell, crying all over his doritos locos tacos as he shoveled them into his mouth, was kakashi. Just as he was about to begin eating his final doritos locos taco, he got a notification on his phone. Sasuke has committed tax fraud. The final wretched taco slipped from his fingies, hitting the dirty pavement with a crunchy slap. It was time.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Naruto awaited Sasuke’s answer with anticipation. It had been 26 minutes and he still hadn’t said a word. Naruto was beginning to get worried. Sasuke’s eyes darted back and forth from his laptop to the love of his life. _Wait...why is this even something I have to think about...I can’t fuck my laptop._ He then stood up and did an epic fus roh da and the laptop shot out the window and was never seen nor heard from again. Naruto smiled warmly. They engaged in a passionate embrace. “Naruto will u poke my butthole?” sasuke asked shyly. “I thought you’d never ask.” Naruto said, visibly excited in the penas zone.

Sasuke was just about to get all up in that narussy when suddenly a certain IRS agent repelled down from the ceiling. “No buttwholes will be poked today.” declared Kakashi smugly. This deeply saddened both Naruto and Sasuke. Kakashi pulled out a gun and pointed it at sasuke. “End of the line city slicker..” Kakashu cowboyed.

“TCH, oh yehaw?? Watch this.” and then he used his Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan and Rinnegan doujutsus (with the rikidou paths ability) equipped with his Gunbai and control of the juubi and Gedou Mazou, a complete Susano'o, with Mokuton kekkei genkai and yin-yang release ninjutsu as well as taijutsu and bukijutsu. This assured their safety. They had once again escaped cockshi’s meaty clutches, but he would not give up so easily.

Narutoe and sasuek made it all the way into the great australiam outback before kakashi caught up with them. “U worn’t get away from me that easily…I’m the law round these parts and I take my duties very seriously.” _Haha doodies_ he thought to himself. “Haha you said doodies” Naruto giggled. Kakish did one of those cool gun spinning moves and shot sasuke in the chest.

“SASUKEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!” naruto cried out in anguish, running to the side of his beloved. “Sorsuke….plbase be alirgth,,. Asake, ygfdu. SAuske guh.” he was distraught. He held sasuke in his sweaty ninja arms and prepared to mourn him, but then he opened his eyes. “Sasruke...my love. HOW.” Sasuke felt his chest, reached into his shirt pocket, and pulled out a folded piece of paper with a bullet stuck to it. He unfolded it tenderly. It was the art he commissioned of naruto’s fursona! “...it’s beautiful sasuke” naruto said as tears filled his eyes.

Kakashi farted and Naruto and Sasuke’s attention was drawn to him. They were furious. Sasuke got out his wiffle ball bat and hit kakashi in the knuts with it 4 times. They left him there dying in the desert.

Naruto and Sasuke returned to their lovely suburban home. Sasuke turned to naruto and kissed him tenderly. They were safe, both from sasuke’s addiction, and from kakashi’s graps. They could finally settle down...just like they’d always hoped. They could finally be the gamers they had always wanted to be.

“I’m thinking microwaved fish sticks for dinner.” said Naruto casually. Sasuke Agreed with him. “Anyways. I’m horny now. Can i have some pussy please i’ll die.” Naruto nodded. “Of course babey. This pussy is gluten free.”

“Thanks naruto. You know i have a gluten allergy.” Naruto smiled at him, and took Sasuke’s hands in his. “Let me see those stinky feet.” Sasuke blushed, feet already sweating in anticipation. He whipped em out. Naruto got to work. He shoved em down his throat. Sasuke trembled in ecstasy. Naruto loved that they tasted like old cheese. He knew that sasuke had doen this on purpose to fulfill his love for stinky cheese feet.

Naruto started to nibble on sasuke widdle toes. He suckled the milk right out of their tips. This reminded him of his mother. He cried. Sasuke comforted him. “Hey Naruto i know what would make you feel better” said sasuke. Naruto looked up at him with curiostitty in his watery eyes. “W-what is it.”

“Let’s watch naruto.” Sasuke got out his laptop.

<<<<<<>>>>>>  
Kakashi opened his eyes slowly. It was dark, his gaze unfocused, not used to the dark, but his eyes adjusted. He could see a positively shredded figure in the corner of what appeared to be a cave. He kept quiet, trying to make sense of his current situation.

_Where am i?? Who is that. I have to fart. People fart in their sleep right?_ As he pondered these life altering questions, the figure in the corner stood up. Kakashi released his fart. “Ah, so you’re awake.” said a kind, buff voice. _Ah fuck_ thought kakashi.

“W-who are you?” kakashi questioned in fear. 

“It’s me, goku.” 

Kakashi scoffed. He’d heard that one before. “Pshh..sure buddy.” The shredded figure then stepped into the light and kakashi instantly regretted any doubt he had before. It was goku. “Hi goku” he said in admiration. Goku flexed in response. “How long have I been here goku??”

Goku looked troubled. He then spoke, his beautiful manly voice filling kakashi with a love he had never known before. “Kakashisf,...you’ve been here for 5 years bro…” Kashi farted again, but this time out of pure shock. Goku sucked it in through the air.

“How am i still alive?” kakushi wondered. “Youve been kept alive on a strict diet of Coochie casserole” Goke replied. “I’ve been feeding it to you intravenously.”

“Nice. Just like my mama used to make.” cockashi said, fondly recalling his childhood. Goku nodded, a kind twinkle in his eye. “I know.” he said. Goku flicked him in the balls. Kakashi came instantly. “Wow goku you sure know how to flick the nut out a mans balls.” 

“Im goku” he replied bluntly. This made kakshi cry. Goku just stood there and watched. This made kakashi cry harder. Goku left the cave and started doing squats outside in his garden. Kakashi dried his tears and watched, awestruck. After watching goku’s rippling muscles and tight glutes for 4 hours he decided he wanted goku to break him in half like the pathetic little bottom that he was. Goku understood this but was unwilling to bring him harm. He was just to strong. 

“Goku, will you pee in my butt lol?” kakashi asked eagerly. Goku stopped squatting and whipped out his fat goku schlong. Kakashi opened his butthole. Goku conjured up a fat pee and jetted it into kakashi’s throbbing hole. He’d wanted this for as long as he could remember. He wanted more. “Gokue.PLEASE eat Me.” he begged. Goku nodded politely and then unhinged his jaw like a snake. He swallowed kakashi whole. Kakashi had never felt so at peace.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

It had been 5 years since sasuke had logged onto taxfraud.com. He and nuarto were happy sucking each other’s toes and playing fortnite free of crime. Sasuke was at home paying taxes just like naruto always wanted. Seeing him there filled naruto with an unfathomable happiness _damn,,, that character development tho._ Naruto walked into the room and approached sasuke, who was sitting at the desk paying taxes. “Sasuke……….you’ve been my minecraft gf for all these years….” He knelt before sasuke, pulling out a partially eaten ring pop. “I think its about time u became my epic minecraft wife.” Sasuke immediately hopped onto naruto’s weiner (his hole was already wet because he was in heat.) That was the most romantic thing you could ever possibly say.  
“Tch..of course i’ll be your minecraft wife..baka.” This was so kind of sasuke that naruto knotted in him out of love. They had to wait almost a full hour for the nut to get all the way out of narutos beast cock so they decided to play minecraft. They were mated for life. Sasuke rested his controller on his cum swollen stomach. Naruto pulled the knot out and all of his juice poured out of sasukes now tremendous anus like a fine wine.

“Hey we should play minecraft hunger games.”

“Oh yeah that sounds epic” And so they did.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Kakashi opened his eyes slowly. It was dark, his gaze unfocused, not used to the dark, but his eyes adjusted. He could see a positively shredded figure in the corner of what appeared to be a cave. He kept quiet, trying to make sense of his current situation.  
Goku noticed kakashi awaken, and greeted him. “It’s me, goku.” Kakashi jolted, and turned to him. _Holy shit is that really goku?_ He had always wanted to meet him. “Goku? Are you real?” Goku nodded sagely and kissed kakashi tenderly on the hand. “Believe it” he whispered softly. Sadly, kakashi did not recall the tender moments they shared in days past. He did not remember how safe he felt while inside goku.

“Wow...i’ve always wanted to meet you goku” kakashi exclaimed. Goku felt his chest tighten, did kakashi not rember??? Goku put a tender (buff) arm around kakashi and cried. Kakashi did not understand this. _Who knew goku was such a pussy_ he thought to himself. 

“Goku… how bottom of you.” Kakashi said, disgusted. Goku had a sudden realization and stopped crying. _This isn’t the man i loved...my consumption of him must have depleted his brain sells…._ Goku stood up and pushed kakashi away. Then he did a whip and nae nae. “Get out of my cave. The criminal you seek is at these exact coordinates: 39° 5′ 50.25″ N, 82° 59′ 9.64″ W”

“Thanks bro.” Kakashi said, turning to leave goku’s luscious cave. He couldn’t shake the feeling that he and goku shared a deep personal connection that he was somehow missing. He swallowed his indescribable feelings and exited the cave never to return.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

After a really intense round of minecraft hunger games, sasuke was in the bathroom laying eggs in the toilet. _Tch...not again_ he thought to himself. He flushed the toilet and left the bathroom. He and naruto had been playing minecraft hunger games all night, it was almost time for work! Sasuke prepared himself a cup of black coffee and grabbed the keys to his 2008 honda civic. “Bye naruto im going to work now.” and before naruto had a chance to respond sasuke sped away. 

Naruto was alone in their humble abode. _What should i do now_ he wondered. He sat there bored for a long while and then he got out his phone and texted sasuke “send hole pics.” Sasuke was still driving to work, but he heard his phone go off and knew instinctively that it was naruto asking for hole pics. Risking his life at a stoplight, sasuke whipped out his ass and snuck a quick pic. _For naruto_ he thought to himself as his ass was exposed to the world.

Back at home naruto smiled as he laid his eyes upon sasuke’s hole. He poked the screen tenderly and then gave it a lil kiss. Almost 20 miles away in a small office complex, sasuke felt his ass pucker.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

Kakashi was having touble remembering goku’s coordinates beacuse his brain cells were still fried from the great swallowing. Just then he passed by a local news stand and saw a video of sasuke pulling out his asshole in traffic. He noticed sasuke’s license plate and wrote it down. He was hot on his trail. 

<<<<<<>>>>>>

It was the next day. The day of naruto and sasuke’s wedding. They had been planning this for hours. They had sent out invited to all their closest friends: gandalf the grey and gandalf the white and monty python and the holy grail’s black knight and benito mussolini and the blue meanie and cowboy curtis and jambie the jeanie. Robocop, the terminator, captain kirk, and darth vader, lo-pan, superman, every single power ranger. Bill s. Preston, and theodore logan, spock the rock, doc oc, and hulk hogan. Sasuke was dressed elegantly, in a lovely black tuxedo while naruto was naked, save for a large foam cowboy hat. Yeehaw.

Bill and Ted approached Naruto and said “Pussy out huh..? Radical.” 

“Thanks Bill and Ted” naruto replied gayly. Naruto stood at the altar, admiring the perfect recreation of the castle from Shrek, where he had always dreamed of getting married. “Nervous huh?” asked the pastor, who happened to be Doc Hudson from Disney-Pixar’s Cars (2006) “y-yeah,” replied naruto nervously, shifting his feet. “I’ve always dreamed of this.”

“Is it how you’ve always pictured it son?” doc questioned kindly. A tear fell from naruto’s cheek as he smiled widely. “Exactly.” Just then, the wedding march sounded and everyone’s attention was drawn to the door. There was sasuke, being slowly led down the aisle by sans undertale, who was giving him away. In the crowd, komaeda nudged hulk hogan in the arm and proudly whispered “Tha’ts my wife.”

They reached the altar, and everyone took their seats. Then Doc spoke. “Ladies and bottoms, we are here today to celebrate the union of one Uchiha Sasuke, and his beloved, Uzumaki Naruto. They have celebrated many a victory royale together, and we hope that the future will bring many more. May they forever have hobbit love. Now the lovely couple will read their vows.”

“Okay i’ll start” said naruto. “Sorsuke…..i love you..You’re the epic minecraft wife i’ve always wanted. Will you suck my peepee forever? Okay thanks bye.”

And then it was sasueks turn. “Naruto…i used to always say i hated u lol..but there has always been love deep in my ninja heart. Of course i’ll suck ur peepee forever. By the way i love the taste of your farts.” Many of the members of the crowd were sobbing.  
Doc gestured to the best man, gandalf, and asked “Do you have the rings?” Gandalf reached into his diaper and pulled out the rings. “Thank you” doc thanked. Sasuke placed a ring (which was gucci) on naruto’s dick and naruto placed a ring on sasuke’s finger.  
“If anyone has any reason as to why this couple shall not be wed, speak now or forever hold your piss.” A hand raised in the back of the room.

“ hwhwesehehehe I object” kakashi snickered. “What was that?” doc shouted from behind the altar. Kakashi stood up and everyone gasped. It was hatake kakashi, from naruto! “I object.” he sneered. Sasuke groaned, “not this bitch again...do i have to come over there and destroy your nuts again?” Kakashi flinched at the memory, but had to conintue his mission.

“I’ve come to put a stop to your reign of terror once and for all, sasuke. Your days of tax fraud are over.”

“I’m not like that anymore!” sasuke cried. “I’VE CHANGED.” he dabbed.

“You can’t dab your way out of this...I know what you really are.”

Sasuke took a deep breath, he knew what he had to do. He took naruto’s hand and kissed it tenderly. “Just in case I don’t make it back.” he whispered. He then turned to kakashi, a passionate fire alight in his eyes. He had to do this. For naruto. For all that they had built together. All the progress he’d made, just so naruto would b happy. He walked up to kakashi until there were mere inches between them, and then he fortnite danced harder than any man before him had ever fortnite danced. Kakashi was taken aback. He watched for a minute and then said “Oh damn.” and disappeared suddenly leaving nothing behind but a banner that read [kakashi has left the game] but that too quickly vanished.

Sasuke returned to the altar and swooped naruto into a passionate kiss. “U may now kiss the bride i guess lol” said Doc. Then naruto and sasuke just fucked right there. Everyone watched, and applauded.

They returned home happily married and sasuke bent over to allow naruto to do what he had asked him to do years ago. Naruto removed his man’s trousers and poked him firmly in the butthole.

The End


	2. Epilogue

guy died in that Wendy’s


End file.
